Leaving Dad; Fathering from Genesis 2

Fathering from Genesis 2  
Moses writes in verse 24 of Chapter 2 that ' a man will leave his father and his mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh'. You may conclude that there is nothing groundbreaking in this early passage in the Book of Genesis and I would agree. We should note though the early reference to parenting includes both dad and mom.  A man is to leave both his father and his mother when he launches into a new season of marriage. Fatherhood was part of God's Plan from the very beginning. It is part of His Plan A. Anything else is Plan B. God intended there to be a significant bonding between parent and son that needed to change when the young man moved on. This bonding was designed to be with both father and mother. This bonding is physical, mental, spiritual and emotional. A young man is designed to have this type of connection with both his father and his mother before he begins his own family.

We live in a broken world and in a culture that has lost it's way and so the ideal of God's Design is not always there for the young man. This does not mean that we ignore what God intended but rather push back against the culture and against the brokenness caused by sin and ask God in faith to build our families according to his original design. Plan A is His Idea. Let's pursue it with everything we have.

Courageous Popularity

Courageous was far and away the most popular movie this weekend in probably every cineplex where it was shown. Number of people per showing was 145% higher than Dream House; 110% higher than 50/50;  87% higher than Dolphin Tale and 81% higher than Moneyball. The closest was The Lion King and Courageous still had 67% more people on average in every theater.

Now that the movie is a 'visible' success' - the important work of ministry begins. God can and will use this movie to change men's lives and the destiny of their families but first they must see the movie and second they will need encouragement to execute their own "I Will" resolutions.

The DVD will come out in 2012 but do not wait for the DVD. The movie is received differently in a movie theater so let's start a viral explosion about this movie and see just what God might do. Join me in reaching out to friends, family, neighbors and co-workers.

Men Need Markers

Millions of men attended a local church service yesterday but how many made a decision that will serve as a benchmark for the weeks and months that follow?

Men need markers, measurables, benchmarks. The movie, Courageous, launches this Friday in over 1200 theaters around the nation and will provide men those markers.

The inspiration of the movie climaxes with adult men driving a stake in the ground and sharing before God and witnesses what they will do and what they will not do. Resolution is a powerful step for any man and serves as benchmark for decisions that need to be made and acted upon. There are a number of points of resolution throughout the movie in addition to the group resolution where the men agree together on a number of critical points of spiritual leadership.

The movie shows four of the men placing the Resolution Plaque on their wall at home. This would serve as a visible reminder of what they had each agreed to do. Their decision was in community and as agreed they were doubly accountable. Later they would stand in front of a wider community that would increase their accountability. These are all necessary components of an effective ministry to men in the local church.

Encouragement and accountability are the missing links in the lives of Christian men. This scripture calls this iron sharpening iron (Proverbs 27:17). Some leaders are hesitant to add deadlines and expectations on men and would prefer to extend grace and unconditional acceptance. I say yes to grace and acceptance but men need deadlines and markers to know if they are moving forward and Courageous will give men several of these measurables.

Turning a Man's Heart

Many people reference the last verse of the Old Testament when they think about fathering. Malachi writes: “See, I will send you the prophet Elijah before that great and dreadful day of the LORD comes. He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else I will come and strike the land with a curse.”

We are now two weeks out from the launch of the movie, Courageous. Tens of thousands of men and women are praying that this movie would be part of the turning of the hearts of fathers to their children. Prayer is the right weapon as the movie itself will only serve as an inspiration. It is the work of Almighty God to turn a man's heart away from the clutter of work and responsibilities and community and church and a host of different things - good things.

Would you join me and many others and ask God to turn the hearts of the fathers to their children? Please pray specifically by name the men that are in your sphere of influence. The result will be nothing less than massive awakening in our home, in our churches and in our communities.

Community of Men

One feature I really appreciate in the movie, Courageous, is the idea of a community of men. This is not a formal church based group but rather men who come together because they have something in common which is the basis for their relationships. These relationships become important and soon become missional as one of the men goes through an extreme challenge and is willing to include his friends in his journey.

Men and women are designed for community but women seem to do it so much better in the American church. Leaders in local churches cannot attempt to gather men the same way they gather women - it just does not work. Short term groups that feature missional community work for men. They may gather again and again but clear exit points help men get started in the first place.

Consider inviting guys to join you in a small group. Don't give them any details - just invite them to join you. Once they indicate their interest then you can together decide when to meet, where to meet, how often to meet, the content of your meeting, etc. You will find that men will say yes because God has designed men for community.
 

Honor Begins at Home

The movie, Courageous, opens in theaters the end of this month. It is important to note that the subtitle of the movie is “Honor Begins at Home”. This is an important subtitle as the main characters in the movie are law enforcement officers who willingly put themselves at risk for the sake of others. They give their very best time and energy to a noble vocation and part of the story of this movie is that they learn that honor is not limited to the streets.

This learning curve is not limited to law enforcement officers. Every man is somewhere on this curve and each of us must continue to look for creative ways of making sure we do not try to live a balanced life but rather live a life with the priorities in line with God’s Intentions for us. This is where this movie excels as we witness different men making these similar discoveries.

I come face to face with this challenge nearly every day as my wife, Barb, and I look to disciple our own children. We have chosen to educate at home which allows much more time with them but which takes much more time as well. The idea of the home being the place where 'honor begins' and not the church or the ministry office or the workplace fuels our decision to stay this course.  

You do not need to wait to see the movie to make an adjustment in your life at home. Do it today! Honor Begins at Home!

Who is the Customer?

I recently took four of my five kids out for ice cream to a place where they could break the summer heat with a shake or a sundae. It was a little bit of a splurge but I was feeling generous and wanted to 'give good gifts' to my children. This is my stretch of Matthew 7:11

I parked the car and the kids raced to the door and headed in. The staff seemed pleased to see four children ages 8, 10, 12 and 14 which made me happy. Sometimes people aren't happy to see us arrive. They made eye contact with me and confirmed that there were five of us on this visit and where would I like to sit. I shared my preference and the waitress led us to our table area. I let her know we were there for ice cream and she cheerfully handed out menus with ice cream asking if I wanted any of the younger children to have a children's menu. I assured her that we did not need a children's menu when it came to ice cream and asked if she would supply us all with a glass of water. She soon came back and asked me if we were ready to order and together we ordered some of our favorites. As she left to place to place our order a couple of things caught my attention.

This waitress knew that I was her customer. She was kind to the children but communicated with me.

She asked my preferences and I felt like she understood that these were my kids and I might have certain ideas for them.

She asked for our orders but had eye contact with me as I made adjustments to a couple of the kids enthusiastic choices.

Later she gave me the bill and thanked me for our visit. This waitress knew that I was her primary customer. I had chosen to bring my children but she did not cater to the kids apart from me. She did not invite them to a special 'kids area' where they could get different ice cream. She knew who was paying the bill and leaving the tip and the kids didn't have any money. I think she understood family dynamics and that I was the father and wanted to continue being a father even in her restaurant. In my opinion, she correctly answered the question of  "Who is the Customer?". 

I will be thinking of this waitress when I go to church on Sunday. I wonder if the staff there understand who the customer is? Maybe I can treat them to some ice cream and we can talk.